“. . . reflection is native and constant.” – John Dewey
- Fatherhood Is Learning—The Book
- Fatherhood Is Learning—The Newsletter
- List of published essays, articles
Fatherhood Is Learning—The Book
Published Sept. 2021—Buy it here!
When I decided to become a stay-at-home dad, after having earned a Ph.D. in the philosophy of education and worked in nonprofits for nearly a decade, I knew I’d learn at least as much from my kids as they would learn from me. I was excited to take part in opening up American gender roles.
But I didn’t anticipate how easily my anxieties about competence and failing as a caregiver would spark reactivity and self-judgment during difficult parenting moments, nor how I would reinforce my social isolation by avoiding other parents whose judgments I feared.
Fatherhood Is Learning shares how I’m becoming the man my kids need me to be through reflection, mindfulness, and friendship, and how loyalty to this cause has transformed my understanding of love and myself. The book is for any man who cares about healthy masculinity, yearns to be the responsive dad his kids deserve, and seeks connection—and for the people who love these men.
The book is available in paperback (from Amazon) and from all the usual e-book retailers (e.g., Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc.) If you want to be able to hold a copy in your hand, whether paper or on a tablet/reader, and/or if you want to support my work by buying a copy, these are the formats for you. The text is also available as a free-to-read suite of serialized posts at my new Fatherhood Is Learning newsletter at Substack (see below).
Fatherhood Is Learning—The Newsletter
Launched Sept. 2021—Subscribe here!
My Fatherhood Is Learning newsletter on Substack is a place for learning together about what it takes to cultivate a mindful, connected, and just practice of parenthood and masculinity, for ourselves and the people we love. May we devote ourselves to all that wholehearted engagement with our loved ones—and especially with our children—can teach us. We’re in this together.
In addition to hosting the online version of my memoir, the newsletter is where I post blogs and short essays, reflection prompts, songs, videos, and some curated reflections on interesting books, studies, music, organizations, and the like. Down the road, I hope to interview other dads and masculine-of-center parents about how parenthood has changed their understanding of themselves.
Throughout, I’ll tackle topics like:
- Reflection, mindfulness, and moving from automatic reaction to curious response.
- Navigating raw feeling in the moment and understanding mistakes and conditioned reactions, so we can live out our higher values more effectively.
- Vulnerability as an act of loyalty toward our kids.
- Mental health and healthy masculinity.
In essence, I’m building the kind of reflective resource that I would have loved to grab hold of when I became a dad myself. With time, I hope the newsletter site will become a true learning community—and I hope you’ll join me for the journey. Please subscribe!
List of published essays, articles
- From Fire To Mercy: A Conversation Between Steven Wingate and Matthew S. Rosin / First published: matthewsrosin.com, April 24, 2020.
- The Joy of Cuddling With My Kid In the Middle Of the Night / First published: Fatherly (Fatherly Voices series), July 25, 2019.
- Learning To Connect / First published: STAND Magazine, Issue #10 (Winter 2018). / Republished: STAND Magazine online, February 8, 2019. / REVISED AND REPUBLISHED in Fatherhood Is Learning, 2021!
- Learning To Forgive the Man I Don’t Want To Be / First published: STAND Magazine, Issue #9 (Summer 2018). / Republished: STAND Magazine online, October 10, 2018. / REVISED AND REPUBLISHED in Fatherhood Is Learning, 2021!
- Learning To Meet a Need / First published: STAND Magazine online, May 30, 2018. / REVISED AND REPUBLISHED as “Learning To Trust” in Fatherhood Is Learning, 2021!
- Learning To Smile / First published: STAND Magazine, Issue #8 (Winter 2018). / Republished: STAND Magazine online, March 21, 2018. / REVISED AND REPUBLISHED in Fatherhood Is Learning, 2021!
- Learning To Smell the Flowers / First published: STAND Magazine online, December 4, 2017. / REVISED AND REPUBLISHED as “Learning To Be Present” in Fatherhood Is Learning, 2021!
- The Dad In the Room / First published: STAND Magazine, Issue #3 (Spring 2016). / Republished: STAND Magazine online, April 28, 2017. / REVISED AND REPUBLISHED in Fatherhood Is Learning, 2021!
- Letter to My Toddler / First published: On Being blog, June 21, 2015. / REVISED AND REPUBLISHED in Fatherhood Is Learning, 2021!
- Quoted in…
- Fatherly, “How I Want to Be Celebrated for Father’s Day,” June 9, 2020.